Failure Ballads

by Science Club

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Science Club would like to thank the following people for their direct contribution to the creation of Failure Ballads – Will and Dale from DaleWillRecordYou Studios in Walnutport, PA. The Pelone family for the use of their living room as a practice space. Liz Wagner for contributing unused backup vocals on “Scares” and very well-used pizza during the recording session. Ice cream. Star Trek: The Next Generation. Our jobs for allowing us the money needed to record and release these songs.

Nate Adams would like to thank the following people for their indirect contribution to the creation of Failure Ballads, as well as their support of Science Club – The following members of the Adams family, for their compassion and support: Tony, Evelyn, John, Chris, Jared, Greg, Tom Jeb, Flynn Jeb, Meghan Jebb, Jessica Eastwood, and Laurel Sheridan. The members of the following now-defunct bands The Percentages and Ghosttown Facedown, for helping me develop as a guitar player and songwriter to the point I could feel comfortable enough to participate in Science Club: Joe Gilson, James Keough, Joe Delorenzo, John O’Riordan. The following active bands for allowing us to play with them in our hours of need: Scatterbrain, J. Fox and the Original Marta. The employees of the Famous Fourth Street Delicatessen in Philadelpiha, PA, for providing me with the inspiration for many of these songs, as well as the Guest-Check notepads that many of the original lyrics were written on between shifts: Emily, Russ, Ilene, Steven, Chris, Dee Dee, Shannon, Larissa, Will and Stephanie. The following artists and bands, whom I have tried to follow as performers and songwriters and, in a perfect world, would be compared to on my best of days: The Mountain Goats, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, Face to Face and The Lawrence Arms. To the following friends who do not fit into one of the above categories but who are worth of note, nonetheless: Stu, Sam, Pat Rush, Brett, Eric, Michelle, Angelina and Jess Wagner. Finally, to Liz Wagner, who has had to hear far too many poorly written songs in her day, swallowing them whole for the sake of a man she knows needs her approval due to the weakness of his wings: thank you.


released March 5, 2012

An extended player in six parts, recorded by Science Club. Additional vocals and instruments on “We Have So Much in Common (We Should Date Forever) by Will Shupp. Recorded, mixed and mastered in March 2011 by DaleWillRecordYou Studios.


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Science Club Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

A punk rock band from Philadelphia, going nowhere and taking you along.

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Track Name: Song in the Sea
I was fifty thousand feet over the Pacific when masks fell from overhead seems some faulty wires crammed beneath our plunging cabin had finally overheated and god save that valiant crew who did all they could to keep us in the sky and calm the passengers who were plagued with panic we are going to die we are all going to die [While] we fell from the sky I thought back to my childhood in 1993 playing Sega Genesis in my basement with my good friend Kennedy skipping our swim lesson where some lifeguard would tell us how this would save our lives I bet that high school girl working for five bucks an house never knew she would be so right and as our plane crashed down we fell into the sea the further you go the less you can see (in retrospect, rhyming “sea” with “see” is pretty lame.) my mother and my father brothers family they all did fade away I don’t want to die this way The crash threw me out into the ocean where a current pushed me up toward the warm noon sun and I am adrift for now but I will soon swim to where no songs have yet been sung
Track Name: Funky C
We’re getting drunk and we’re underachieving but give it time because we won’t stop believing (we also will hold on to that feeling – Nate) She said you wouldn’t understand how badly they are treating me I work for tips I shouldn’t have to hope for common decency, 67 hours every week but we are not machines.
Track Name: Scares
They say disasters come in three First we met then fell in lust now you’re forever chained to me And soon the baby will be here my friends have all abandoned me and I’m afraid you’ll disappeared I artfully dodged all the various vagrants in town I stoked high the fires of desire without burning us down and what do I get but a single regret of a gas station attendant and a willful weakness and all I’ve got left is this ache in my chest and a fear that your love I might lose It’s just one more thing that I can’t use I know my mother don’t approve but helping me into my prom dress I thought that was a classy move and though I was only 16 you were a man at 23 I thought that you would marry me but you ran off like the lowdown lout that they always assumed without taking the time to face the baby you doomed to a mother a teen with no family but a grandma and tombstones crumbling near the sea but I love this boy with all of my heart I’ll make him a real man at least I will try I just wish he didn’t have your eyes.
Track Name: We Have So Much in Common (We Should Date Forever)
I’ll string together all these silly chords and I’ll try to find the words to tell you more Though all the days done damage in our hearts it turns out that we were never far apart and distance brings such awful tyranny but I never wondered where you were to me I always thought you sang so beautifully and I wonder why you never sing for me No one does what they want we all got to pay the rent Getting older doesn’t mean everything that I thought it meant There’ll be time to unwind when we’re all done having fun but I’m ready to be done Never mind that aching in your chest we both know I never knew what was best Desperation strange bed fellows makes some will always go and some will always stay But me you know you can count on me to leave because I’m not the type in which to put your faith Down the stairs, there’s nothing left down there, because you always knew just what this was
Track Name: Go, Boldly
Klingons fight Ferngi steal We replicate our favorite meals Jordi strikes out with girls a lot Picard likes tea Earle grey hot Dr. Crusher might save your life number one might sleep with your wife Catch the next shuttle come about go where no one’s gone before Got caught in a tractor beam a Tachyon pulse set us free It messed with Data’s fancy brain when Wesley bought that stupid game Where all the phasers are set to stun the Holodeck provides the fun I want to battle with the Borg go where no one’s gone before This is our mission our ongoing trip Explore strange new life forms see where they fit The Federation wants to save all the words from Romulan war bird and those Klingon girls Raise glass in Ten Forward the place where we meet Here’s to the finest crew in all the fleet I want to go Please make it so I want to go where no one’s gone before Red alert shields up Prime directive blow it up Tricorder shuttle bay commander Jordi saves the day Warp speed straight ahead full stop or we’re dead Don’t kill us Barclay Picard likes archeology Diana Troy is useless Locutus.
Track Name: Doo-Wop Breakdown
Well don’t worry about the future because it’s already here It’s just another car crash coming so don’t bother to steer Say hello to your frustrations you sorrows your regret and you should hold on to your socks you ain’t seen nothing yet Well this ain’t no swinging 50s this is no golden age All your cold wars seem much colder when they don’t have a name If the future is too frightening you can live in the past but taking solace in what’s promised is a joy that won’t last There’s a road and we can take it if you don’t mind the walk and I’ll keep my mouth shut if it’s too hard to talk But there’s no use in shoveling a hole that you’ll never fell and you keep saying that you won’t but I bet that you will Tell me something that you want to believe and I can show all the biggest threats that you’ve ever seen / Turn down all the volume so you can’t hear the scream / Tell you what they’re saying and what they really mean / Show you all the fractures and the cracks in the seams

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